


feels like insomnia

by gwiyeosang



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Delusions, Fluff, Hallucinations, Hongjoong can't sleep, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Insomnia, M/M, Seonghwa takes care of Hongjoong, insomnia isn't fun, light angst?, lmao fitting tag, seongjoong if you squint, thats literally the plot, yeosang can cook
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24834340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwiyeosang/pseuds/gwiyeosang
Summary: Hongjoong hasn't slept in four days.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 4
Kudos: 61





	feels like insomnia

It was two in the morning and Hongjoong was still tossing and turning. After staying awake near 92 hours, he had promised Seonghwa and the others he’d get sleep that night, but it seemed he wouldn’t be able to keep that promise.

It wasn’t the first promise he had ever broken, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last, but as the shadows inched closer to him, he wished it was one he was able to keep. Hongjoong rubbed at his eyes, now dry and swollen from so many days without sleep. Work was calling him but when he tried opening the program used to compose, he immediately got a headache and dimming the screen fully didn’t help. He didn’t know what he could do to ease his insomnia. He tried everything: a relaxing bath with bubbles that smelled of lavender and rose petals, warm milk with honey, even ASMR. Nothing was helping and it made him more frustrated. He would have tried a more _adult_ way of relaxing, but Seonghwa was asleep in the other bed and he refused to do anything that could cause him embarrassment.

Hongjoong pulled out his phone and played a random game, hoping he would fall asleep while playing. Unfortunately, two _more_ hours passed, and he was starting to see the sun rise from behind the curtains. He sighed and got out of bed, swaying slightly from a sudden dizzy spell. He grabbed the wall and shook his head. Luckily it was a day off, so he was able to do whatever he wanted. If he fell asleep around noon, well, the others shouldn’t bother him. He wrapped the blankets around his shoulders and made his way to the kitchen, getting an iced coffee from the fridge. He knew he shouldn’t drink it but maybe his exhaustion and the boost of caffeine would make him sleep.

Hongjoong downed it and went to the couch, turning on the tv. He listened to the news while rubbing his irritated eyes. Colours were starting to appear in bursts and things appeared to be moving in dark corners. Deep down he knew it was the beginnings of hallucinations, and it always terrified him, but he couldn’t make it stop.

Seonghwa found him minutes later, curled tight in a ball and rocking back and forth. The eldest member sighed and unwrapped the smaller from his blanket. “Joong, did you sleep?”

“I tried, Hwa.” Hongjoong’s voice was rapsy and quiet. “I couldn’t. There are people staring at me…”

“There’s nobody in the room except for you and me,” Seonghwa whispered, knowing to keep his voice quiet. He had dealt with an overly exhausted Hongjoong before, cried as he forced sleeping pills down their leader’s throat in an attempt to make him sleep.

The pills did nothing but make the delusions worse.

He held the smaller boy in his arms, stroking his hair slowly like his own mother used to do to him. He heard the soft pitter patter of feet coming from the hallway and looked up, unsurprised to see Yeosang. Seonghwa shook his head as a nonverbal way of telling the vocalist to stay quiet.

Yeosang blinked at the sight in front of him before going to the kitchen and making breakfast. He knew he wouldn’t be of any help. He was a light sleeper but he didn’t really have severe insomnia like Hongjoong and San did. He didn’t know how to help them when it happened.

Seonghwa sighed. “Will you eat?”

“Not hungry… Just make them go away…” Hongjoong whispered, staring at the wall. Seonghwa sighed again.

“You need to eat, baby. Maybe a full stomach will –”

“They’ll come closer if I move. They already have because you’re here.”

This surprised Seonghwa. Normally the delusions that Hongjoong saw stayed away from him, just laughing at the leader (or so Seonghwa was told). He held the boy closer, repositioning him so the other could listen to his heartbeat.

Yeosang brought out two plates of kimchi and rice, setting them on the table for the two. It wasn’t breakfast by any means but it was something they could all whip up when food was needed and Seonghwa wasn’t able to. “I’ll make sure the others stay quiet.”

“Thank you, Sangie…” Seonghwa turned the television to a movie, hoping “the movie effect” would take over. Hongjoong was never able to stay awake during movies, even when he was dared to. Theoretically, he would fall asleep relatively quickly, all bundled up.

Hongjoong tried focusing on the movie and not the laughing faces that were mocking him. He couldn’t let them win. He would be letting everyone he cared about down. And he knew if he did anything because they wanted him to, he would certainly be sent to the hospital and he couldn’t afford the time away.

He couldn’t afford risking his teammates images just because he couldn’t sleep.

Hongjoong relaxed slowly, the movie and steady rhythm of Seonghwa’s heart turning into a lullaby.

The shadows stopped licking at his feet as his eyes began to close.

**Author's Note:**

> what's sleep :)


End file.
